Pushing the RESET button

I actually like who I am though it has taken some time to get there.  However, with the onset of a new year I have decided it is time to embrace the REAL me. And not ‘hide’ anymore behind self-doubt and other negative beliefs.

So, I have sent the following packing:

• Procrastination
• Frustration
• Believing I am not good enough
• Worrying about what others think of me
• Hiding my creativity
• Self-doubt
• Low self-esteem
• Underestimating myself
• And similar beliefs

Now, if I don’t believe in the above it will be a little like sweeping the dirt under the carpet. I know it is there and I’ll keep thinking about it, hoping no-one will see it. But I know, from past experience, that anytime I or anyone else steps on it a little starts to creep its way from under the security of the rug. Then all is revealed. Yes, I was just fooling myself – it was just a temporary mask. The self-doubt was still there.

Over the last two or so years I have been working on getting rid of many past beliefs that are detrimental to me.  Many started with ‘I am not worthy of ….’ Or ‘Why is everything so hard?’

Well, no more!  I have cleaned my slate and starting afresh.  Today, I pushed the ‘RESET’ button.

No, it is not a mask. I finally feel free and excited to embrace what life has to offer, and what I have to offer. To fully embrace who I am.  And know that I am worthy of wonderful opportunities.

From today,

I am making my happiness a priority.

• I am taking a lot more time out for me – stopping to smell the roses and enjoy things I love. And connecting more with my friends and family is a huge part of that.
• Prioritising what is important to me.
• Focussing on my acting and writing passions and dreams.
• Focussing on the positive outcomes and expecting the best of myself.
• Not to compromise what is important to me.
• Having the courage to pursue my dreams. Feel the fear but do it anyway.
• Letting go of impatience and frustration. Instead taking the time to work through my creative ideas and see them come into fruition.
• Doing things that make me happy and keep me uplifted.
• Sewing only the seeds that I want to see grow and flourish.
• Adding more travel and adventure in my life (part of the Happiness plan).
• Regularly connecting with my family and friends (part of the Happiness plan).
• Every day, being grateful for who and what is in my life.
• Being proud of all my achievements no matter how small.
• Expecting my life to work out.
• Trusting the way my life is unfolding.

Actually, I could go on but will stop here.  You get my drift.

Making my happiness a priority isn’t being selfish.  Au contraire.  A happy Helen is quite a lovely person to be around – fun, quirky, uplifting, creative, adventurous, optimistic, chilled.  I should know – I have met her. So has my husband. She is quite nice. My husband likes her too. But I don’t like the negative, frustrated, grumpy, Other Helen.  Neither does my husband.

This morning I gently kissed the Other Helen and said ‘Farewell.’  ‘No hard feelings, but you are no longer welcome here.’  She packed up quietly. I think she knew she had outstayed her welcome. She took measured steps as she made her final way down the front steps. She was carrying a lot of baggage. She looked back for a second. Nodded. A glimmer of a smile.  Then  disappeared.  Feeling a burden suddenly lifted from my being, I checked the rooms. She had taken all her stuff. Phew!

Anyway, I must go now.  I have an idea for a 10 minute play that has been hopping around in my brain over the last week. It needs some steady focus.

Love and hugs

X Helen

NB: This post has received a minor edit (on 7/1/17) since its original publication. 

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